Tuesday, April 22, 2008

This is an understatement.

I miss Ian. Many many. Pain pain. Hard hard.
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Anyhow, I've been thinking these few days. Things that make my senses tingle. You know how some things are just so attractive to you, it's like your body is reacting to the object, or the smell.

I just recently bought the perfume which I've been eyeing ever since I was.. 14? It's Jennifer Lopez's Still. I don't know why but whenever I smell it.... it's makes me really happy and it puts me in a good mood. But due to my meagre pocket money, I didn't want to put myself in a financial crisis so I put aside this thought. Then slightly later, I managed to convince Kenny that if he didn't buy it for me, I'd lose my life. So he actually agreed, but I felt so bad about it so I told him I don't want it anymore.

So... five years down the road, I finally bought it and every morning I go to school a very happy person because I smell wonderful and wearing it puts me in a good mood because I really, really love the smell. It makes me happy.

Just like how when I see colourful or Japanese-print paper, I'll get super excited. Or when I see that my desk is organised, everything is in files, paper clips or plastic folders, I become very happy and satisfied.

Okay, the whole point of all the talk about what I like... is basically - our reactions. I went to look at perfumes just now and I saw Ian's perfume, so I tried to be funny, sprayed some on the card, then sniffed it.

GOOD GRIEF.

I felt like all my limbs were going to give way and it suddenly hit me like a club, I MISS MY IAN!

Goodness, I haven't exactly missed him a whole lot but once I took a sniff, straightaway I was transported to his car, hugging him before I get off the car. And times when we stand on a escalator, sometimes I'll just lean on him and I'll hug him and smell him.

I MISS HIM AND I TELL YOU IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. It's like a junkie without her pot, the frog without the lily pad, the cactus without its groundwater and the stars without the dark.

It hasn't exactly hit me that he's miles away because we've been chatting online and he did call me. But for the past few days we haven't exactly been talking much and I was actually surviving until I misused my sense of smell.

Tsk, I'm actually quite annoyed with myself for doing that.

Three more weeks!

On the bright side, I have an interview with NIE next Tuesday!

On the dark side, NIE is at bloody Jurong West!

Soooo.... it's all good, I guess.

I just wish I could call Ian up and rattle about how excited I am and ask him to tell me briefly what should I say because he's such a good talker (which was why I fell in love with him hahaaha) and I can ask him to interview me. My mom will slaughter my dog and I if I called him using my phone. She'll cook my Xiaohei and bury me downstairs. Maybe I should get the calling card............ but I don't want to be disturbing him too.

And also, Yanlin can't go on my ultimate relaxation plan. So it's just Teng and I. Now I'm not sure if my mom will let me go....

I don't understand why I'm always killing my own joy. I'm going to eat frozen grapes and think about happy things.

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