Being Sentimental

I think the title alone... Yanlin won't be able to relate to this HAHAH. Okay la no la, give you some credit, I know you're not an empty shell muacks.

Anyway, we were just discussing about the poor girl whose boyfriend died during NS training. Wah really very sad. I read her entries again (this time I didn't cry la ok!) and I realised that what is killing her was the memories in her head. About how they couldn't do things together like how they used to, about how he used to do this for her but now it won't come true anymore.

I guess this holds true for all relationship, that during a relationship, all sorts of memories will be recorded in our heads, our hearts. And very often, we find ourselves bringing out a nice memory, then you'll play it over and over again in your head, as though having a little waltz. You feel the memory give you that warm fuzzy feeling which probably will make you feel, 'Wow, I live for this moment.'.

And as much as that's true, we'll find ourselves tucking the bad memories away, in a secluded corner of your head. It's like as though you got yourself one whole handful of garbage but you can't find a bin, then you end up stuffing them into some dark quiet corner. We know how memories can't be deleted like how a teenager would delete his porn from the recycle bin. We can't just highlight everything, right-click and delete. All we can do is just stuff into a dark quiet corner of our head.

But after a while, the dark quiet corner will become a dirty stenching corner, full of trash and stinking for the love of England. It won't go unnoticed like how it would when it was a dark quiet corner.

I think we all have to learn to deal with our bad memories.

Sort them out.

Put the biodegradable materials at one corner. Sad moments you had with your exboyfriend, quarrels with your parents, take them out and look through them, once you're done, put it away for incineration. I'm not talking about literally burning, but what I'm trying to say is, let time do the healing. Soon, you won't even be able to recall what the fight was about, you won't even remember what on earth made you weep like a kid. And when everything has decomposed, you won't even remember the stupid ridiculous argument you had over a slight misctake.

Put the non-biodegradable materials at another corner. Loss of someone you love, I can't think of anymore. Take it out, grief over it. Once my cousin asked me if I'd give up love to not grief, then I told him, how can I grief when there's no love in the first place?

Give yourself plenty of time to grieve over the loss, then once you're done grieving, put it aside, keep this memory properly because you wouldn't want to forget about this person you loved. Take it out once in a while, cry over it. You'll miss the person, but I guess, that's just about all we can do.

I know I'm not exactly in the right position to be saying this kind of things since I haven't really experienced anything like that, and hopefully everyone around me stays safe and healthy, the only death I'll be facing is probably only Xiaohei's, which won't be due till another seven to ten years. So it's good. But anyway when Xiaohei dies, I'll probably cry at least twenty gallons of tears until I'm satisfied.

I just pray for that poor girl to move on, I pray that the next guy will be able to stitch up her poor heart that has been ripped into shreds, but I guess it'll take her a while to want to start dating again.

You know, sometimes I think one of the worse advice is "don't cry, be strong."

I MEAN C'MON! How else are we going to be stronger if we don't cry and try to let go of it.

But of course, there are also instances when you cry and refuse to let go, think; the times in IJC when I used to weep over a certain asswipe.

HAHAHA but anyway, I really had divine intervention and all's well!


Oh well, I miss my baby.