"Not as much as I missed you."

Heh yesterday I finally met my boyfriend after not seeing him for two weeks. When I got up the car, we hugged and I told him I missed him.

He told me,"Not as much as I missed you."

Hehe :) :) :)

I finally got to sit his new car, Honda Crossroad. Woah the engine is so powerful I think I don't want to take out my seat belt anymore unless the car is stationary.

I just caught Xiaohei sniffing around my things. I asked her if she was checking on me and she looked at me with those sad black eyes and walked out.

It was like as though she smelt another dog.

HAHAHA.

Anyway, I'm really very thankful for Ian. We sort of had a bit of err disagreement. I was very silly and Ian was very, very understanding and he explained nicely to me.

I think I seriously need to undertake a "Cutural Revolution" for myself. I need to reform my thinking and strengthen control over my facial expression and vocal chords.

Sounds like the sick regimen that took place in China right. Lol, censorship and strict obedience.

Hmm bottom line: I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and saying.

And I think I'm really selfish.

I'm going to pray every night and make a conscientious effort to change. How. I feel quite lost actually. In my previous relationship, this topic has been gone through umpteen times and I already tried to stop being an idiot.

What if I'm going to be stuck like this for good. I don't know how to go about changing.

Now I feel at loss.. this all too familiar feeling.

I don't know.

I know what I'm supposed to do but I don't know how to go about doing it. Where to start? How to make the first step?

I think I shall go borrow some self-management books.

I suddenly feel like going roller-blading.