Change is constant.

Indeed it is.

After fifteen-going-to-sixteen months of being together with my boyfriend, I know how much a bad change can affect the whole relationship.

My boyfriend has blatantly put across in his blog, how important I am to him.

Yes, I'm a failure. I only realised my importance after being together for fifteen plus months.

The truth has been slapped right smack in front of me.

I think I feel like an idiot, but at the same time, I feel a burst of arterial love for him.

The feeling is exactly like how it was when we first got together.

I feel important, I feel very, very loved.

It felt like nothing has changed. Like everything was just the way it was on the day we got together. When there was no fights and no cussing. When our arteries were choked with bliss, and all I could ever think about is to see you and hold your hand.

But sadly, change came into place and slowly we quarrelled more often, sometimes over the same thing. We broke up a few times, we were completely pissed off with each other.

Until one day, 'Sorry' no longer held anymore meaning.

I cried many times, until I wished I could just close my eyes and never open them again because it hurt so bad. You had your fair share of tears too.

I know it. I am aware of it.

And how I wish I could be hugging you while you cried, just like what you would do for me.

I really really miss those times we had before.

I am really selfish, you are really bad-tempered. We all have our bad points. You feel hurt because I'm selfish, I feel hurt too when you get angry and say horrid things.

I know you compromise with me. I wish you didn't have to.

Most of the time, when I cry, it's because I imagined myself without you. I can feel like half of my life has been sucked away.

I cannot imagine not leaning on your shoulder when we sit next to each other in the bus. I cannot imagine walking next to you, and yet I cannot hold your hand. I cannot imagine going to bed every night and the last thing that I'll hear is not your voice. I cannot imagine never hearing you say that you love me anymore.

It's funny how you've changed and you're mould into my life already.

I wouldn't call it a habit because when you kick a habit, it wouldn't make your heart feel like it has been squeezed, it wouldn't make your eyes well.

And it's definitely not a routine, because people get sick of routines.

I don't get sick of you.

It's just.. what I want to do for you because I know you'll be happy.

Just like how I sms each morning to say good morning.

You make me really happy too. I am very proud to say that even after fifteen plus months, my boyfriend still sends me home whenever he can. It's something that I always tell my friends.

"Tell you, my boyfriend still sends me home after being together for so long."

I haven't stopped saying it.

This Sunday is our sixteenth month. Very fast isn't it? One year and four months has gone by. Coming to think about it, it felt like just yesterday when I blogged about our first year.

Many things has changed, but you know that there are also some things that can't be changed.

I love you baby.