What the fuck do I know?

Nothing actually.

I no longer know what I keep weeping about. I no longer want to find out anymore. Maybe I should just stop thinking so much about it and concentrate on solving integration questions and trying to figure out what the fuck Math lecture is about.

I'm quite tired you know. Mopping around all the time. I don't know what should I do. Take a step at a time? Or just jump straight into my decision? It's like some days I feel good and okay like everything's going just fine. But some days are just.. not so fine.

You know, I miss you.

It's a little too late to regret what has happened but perhaps from here, something better might come along?

The sad thing about human is that they always have this little speck of hope, this little glimmer of light that something better will come along. Nicolas told me something his friend told him,"I don't know if some people die because they can't accept failure, or they die to live again."

Maybe they chose death because their flicker of hope is gone? Actually I kind of like the idea that they die to live again. It's bittersweet in an odd way.

I don't know what is happening and I no longer want to find out. What for? I don't think seeking the truth will help improve anything anymore. Ask so many questions for what? Not like the answers can cure a heartache or relieve any pain.

Now you'll wonder, then why am I so bothered?