Mixed feelings.

I'm going through a series of emotions.

I'm damn stressed up about my results and my dad.

Bad results don't go along well with my dad. It makes my hands clammy and it drains blood from my head.

And what's worst is that my bloody school MAILED the fucking Parents-Meeting Session letter and my dad read the letter.

This is it.

When I was Secondary three, my school had a Parents-Meeting Session too. I didn't do as well as expected. I failed Amath and got many Cs. And that warranted a scolding in front of my form teacher. My form teacher tried to calm my dad down by saying I'm a responsible class chairperson. And guess what?

My dad said he didn't give a damn about that because it's the results that matter at the end of the day.

That line stayed in my head for some time already.

I'm pretty traumatised after that incident so can you imagine how fucked I feel right now?

Okay I know that's not very terrifying or anything. I'm very mild-hearted. I just feel mentally tortured. I feel quite silly being so afraid. I mean it's not like I'm going to get walloped or anything. My dad doesn't hit me.

If he hits me, I'll need to run away from home. Like to my aunt's place or police station.

Another thing is that baby has been so sweet to me I feel engulfed in his love.

Teehee.

I met him today and I felt so much more relaxed with him and I was really glad he was with me.

I love moments when he's telling me an incident, or even a joke, and all I need to do is listen attentively. I look at him as he says everything so animatedly, I'll feel a rush of love.

And like I've always said proudly, my boyfriend still sends me home even after being together for more than a year.

As I'm typing all these, I can't help but to feel an insanely-over-the-top desire to hug him right now and give him a big kiss.

I just want to replaying the whole time when I was out with him.

Over and over again.

After saying all these, I feel a little more calm than just now.

Sigh, I really wonder how my week will go.

Nerve-wrecking I'm guessing.

I love you babaya!