it's funny how some things in life turn out to be. i feel so weird all over now. i don't really know why but it's really making me queasy. okay i think my cynicalness has levelled up to a whole new meaning. don't know the meaning of cynical?
believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others
selfishly or callously calculating
negative or pessimistic, as from world-weariness
expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity
sounds scary? believe me, i feel scared myself. maybe i'm undergoing a certain kind of depression that can't exactly be detected. but then again if it can't be detected i wouldn't be typing all these shite. i feel so unhappy about the world. like i just want to go to some mountain, live with bears and learn bear language or something. i want to detach myself from this hectic world. it feels shitty whenever you wake up in the morning and feel like there's nothing to look forward. life is pointless. i wish there is something to push me, and give me the drive. actually on the whole i just want to be a happy sixteen-year-old. not like some mid-forties divorcee with 2 kids and no money. my life isn't bad at all to be honest. i've got a really supportive boyfriend and family. i know they all care and i'll be cruel to cease my existence. which of course i won't. cos i have better things to do like blogging than to kill myself. i love blogging, it makes me feel better even though it might worry some of you. i really hope this funny feeling will go off soon before i snap and go mental. by the way, dont worry readers. i'm just going through what is universally known, pre menstrual syndrome. but thing is my period just ended. so i suppose.. it's post menstrual syndrome. lol.
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